Realization and Submittion
by YOUKNOWWHAT
Summary: Ichigo sees right through his Hollow, but can he face what his true feelings may be? Even his Hollow is realizing something. Seperate Ichigo and Hichigo POVs. Song Fanfics. Only 2 chapters. Rated M for vulgar material i.e. language and violence.
1. The Stubborn One

_A/N: My first fanfic…is a SONG fanfic .. … Well, I really need to start myself off, ya know? I thought this up yesterday and started writing it last night around 1 AM._

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"**Today my heart collapsed."**

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why do I let him do what he wants? Is it because I want what he provides?  
At first, I really did love him. I loved it when he touched me gently, when he whispered true sweet nothings in my ear, when he would hold me, protect me, care for me.

"**The feeling in my stomach's like a knife in my back."**

I get feelings I should feel when someone loves someone else. I get butterflies in my stomach every time he's near, but it hurts. Is it supposed to hurt? When you love someone, are you supposed to get hurt so easily?

"**Today my lungs collapsed."**

He's always been there.  
I swear, at night, I can feel him hugging me, crushing me.  
I swear, when I sleep, I can feel his hands around my throat, squeezing me.

"**I'm choking on my blood which has all turned black."**

I can't stand being near him, and I can't stand being away from him. I don't want to be scared of him anymore. I don't want to get hurt.  
If I'm hurt, we both bleed.  
We both bleed the truth of his words.  
His words are true lies.  
The type of lies only someone with a black heart can say.

"**Can you pull it out of me please?"**

All he does is protect me, so why does he always try to hurt me? Does he love tearing me apart from the inside, infecting my every organ with his lies and kisses?  
He's already taken my heart. Maybe he's after everything else?  
That pain he causes.  
Will it ever stop?

"**No?"**

I'm hurt. I'm crying. I'm whimpering. It's all for him. Every time I do, he's there. Why not now? Where is he to help relieve the pain he caused? Do I really love him?

"**I'm gonna tell you that I love you til my breathing stops."**

Yes.  
You've ripped my heart apart. You've crushed my lungs.  
You lick my blood up from the wounds you create.  
You stab me. You hurt me. You tease me. You defy me.  
I love you and I'll always love you.  
No matter the pain, no matter the hate, no matter the rejection, I will always call for you. I will always crawl to you.  
A-L-W-A-Y-S.

"**Everything is fine, now I'm ready to relapse."**

I will keep him at bay. I will not let him seduce me.  
…But…  
Things will change. Things have changed.  
Am I no longer qualified to be King? I've always been King.  
Am I now below that? Am I his horse? I've never been his horse.  
NO. I am not his horse and will never be, but I do have to admit…I feel like I could be…his Queen.

"**The Black Heart King has met his Black Heart Queen."**

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_The lyrics (in bold) are from the song "Black Heart Queen" by Gallows. This is my first fanfic EVER……..E-V-E-R. RXR Please. If you haven't read my front page description thing…then know that I will take any CONSTRUCTIVE criticism you give me. Thank you again!_


	2. The Beast of His Orchestra

_A/N: Hmm…I wrote this the same night I wrote my previous fanfic. I'll most likely go on to another band if I do another song fanfic…which is highly probable too. Stories take me too long to actually think up. But anyways, here ya go._

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"**I'm basically a man."**

I started out hating him. I started out wanting him down and dead. I wanted him to submit! He never did.  
Now I feel weird. I feel a flutter in my chest, a damp feeling upon my hands, a warmth in my cheeks.  
But most of all…  
The urge to touch him is strong. The urge to kiss him fills my mind. The urge totake him is unbearable.

"**Baby, spread those shaking legs because I'm feeling fucking hungry tonight."**

I want more than you want to offer, so I'll take it. I'm that hungry. I'll take and take, and return with fake kisses, fake caresses, fake whispers.  
I want a taste, a little taste?  
Wait…fuck, why am I asking? I'll just trick you like always. I can just tell you lies and end up getting what I want. You always give in to that type of stuff. Why won't you give in to anything else?

"**If I offer to buy you a drink, trust me when I say it's non-alcoholic."**

At night, I will hug you, holding on to you for dear life.  
At night, I will touch you, hoping you'll wake up for me.  
Wait…what does this mean? I'm not…no…I won't admit it!  
At night, I will hug you, crush you to death.  
At night, I will touch you, strangle you hoping you will open your eyes and see.  
Don't think I love you!

"**I have the head of a wolf, the appetite of an entire land."**

I lie to you. I deceive you. And you still keep crawling back.  
You're so pathetic…and cute.  
You're so gullible…and smart.  
You're so idiotic…yeah, you're an idiot.  
I might as well take advantage of it.  
I'll take it all.

"**I'm nothing but a beast."**

You know what I want.  
I want you.  
It's always been you.  
It will never be anyone else, not even that fucker who stands on a pole the whole time.  
I'm getting bored though.  
Your retorts are getting weaker.  
Are you okay?

"**I want to feel your body close to mine."**

That's why I hug you so hard.  
That's why I touch you so much.  
But you seem so hesitant now. I can see the fear in your eyes. It even scares me.  
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I'm actually getting tired of it.  
I know I'll bleed too if I continue to hurt you. I'm not stupid. I just loved your reactions.  
Was it the lies that kept getting to you?  
I'll stop lying to you then. If it'll stop the pain, I'll stop lying.  
I'll start protecting you now.

"**The hardest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return."**

There will be one thing I will lie about. I won't tell you the truth.  
I know you love me, but I don't love you just yet.  
You crawl back to me, but I won't lend you a hand.  
You whimper and cry for me, but I won't go to you anymore. When I say those three words, do you think I'm lying?  
I am.  
When the time comes, the orchestra will sing, and your beast will return to sing those three words when he truly means it.

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_A/N: LOL…..RXR please. Critique encouraged…cause I have a feeling…just a feeling that there may be something wrong, but I've reread it ovr and over again. But you know what they say, Look at something at a different angle and a whole new world just opens up for you. In my case, it's letting other people look. :[ I'm thinking about doing a Jonas Brothers song next since all of their music is basically romance. Tell me what you think about it. Oh yeah, and this was a two-chapter thing. :o_

_Song is "Orchestra of WOlves" by Gallows _


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